GETTING a haircut was never my favourite pastime- and for thinking that getting a haircut was extremely annoying when I was back in India, Destiny sent me to the US, just to show how much worse it can get.
Today the frustration levels hit their highest point- and it was very, very high.
To some people hair is a fashion statement, a reflection of their attitude, something to be flaunted. To me it is an auxillary outgrowth on the head which needs to be gotten rid of periodically. So why the extremely shiny glass cabinets, posh lighting, and overdose of gloss when all you do is esstentially mess around with the auxillary outgrowth using sharp instruments and fancy chemicals? Here I have to admit that I did not have the patience to take the bus all the way to a barber shop which was much more stripped down to the basics, but my amazement at the bells and whistles still remains.
I was greeted by hair cutting person with a handhsake and an extremely artificial and overdone "hello, Im so and so... how are you doing today...". If she was not the one in control of the instruments being used on my head which resemble potential weapons, my response would have been:
"Im not here to buy your company, I am here to get this mop off my head. It is an unfortunate law of nature that I have this growing on my head, and I hate clearing a jungle from the front of eyes to see anything. Unfortunately, you seem to be the only one who can do something about it".
I suppose a simple smile is good enough for a welcome? Apart from the elaborate introduction, the frustration was heightened by the attempt to make small talk, despite my clear (yet polite) signals that I was here just to get the job done, (over)pay the bucks, and leave. Really, does anyone ask a prisoner of war in a torture chamber about what he plans to do over the weekend, whether he wants to go to europe, or what one should do in great weather like this?
I was hoping that once the job was done I would be set free, but as it turns out, there was a burst of aggressive marketing where I was bombarded with an army of "haircare products" in all shapes, sizes, and solid/liquid/semi-solid states. After charging an exhorbitant $16 for the haircut, I was asked if I wanted to add any of those onto my bill. I mean, is that a trick question? I am a graduate student, and my haircut is certainly not sponsored by a movie production company.
When I got home and thought about things with a cool (and lighter) head, I realized what a pain I must be for haircut people around the world- uncooperative, terse, least interested in being stylish, and stingy. I cant help it though, I have tried for two decades, I guess I was just born this way.
But hey, I make their next customer seem all the more sweet and friendly.
